Some memes

security and solidarity were not three things i thought i might find when i came to the rooms of recovery. i was looking for a solution to my legal woes and not a solution to my living woes, which i would have adamantly denied having. it is certainly true, however, that my legal problems barely scratched the surface with where my life had gone so wrong. even though i was not ready to concede the fact that perhaps i was an addict and addiction was at the root cause, i was starting to get a clue or two. it may have taken a minute for me to come to terms with the fact that i was an addict, but once i did and actually became ready to do something about it, i finally started to see that there was more going on than than i could ever imagine. i did find safety and security and when i let go of who i thought i was, solidarity.
what came up for me last night and again this morning, is something my spouse said about not being present for her. it is certainly true that i have a very strong tendency to focus on a task, to the exclusion of everything else. i said i was sorry and like so many issues in our relationship, i went directly to her part, although i did not say any of what i was thinking. this morning, what came to the surface was that regardless of who she is and what is going on in her life, my job is to be a responsive partner, take her comments as truth and see what i can do to change how i behave. with that in mind, i think it is time to get out and about for my morning tour of the neighborhood.

∞ DT ∞