๐ humility means ๐
Posted: Wed, Jul 9, 2025 10:26:02 AM
knowing myself, faults and all. a year ago i was spinning about all sorts of stuff i had no power over and considering a brief respite from abstinence to forget all my troubles and woes. today, i am in a similar spot, except i am not twisting about my prostate cancer or my lack of employment and look back on all that worry a year ago with a bit of a smirk and giggle. i know that i am not as talented or skilled as i would like to be in my chosen field. i also know that i have the ability to work hard, learn new stuff and grow in my field, the catch is, when feel like it and the last six months, in my previous position i had lost that desire and had a bit of courage to step away and find a new gig. so the reading this morning, while centered on courage, hit me harder in the humility side, when i sat and listened to the void.
today, i have already kicked a couple of beehives, trying to do the next correct thing. i pissed off my spouse when i said i wish she would not speak to me when my mouth was full of mouthwash. she cut me off before i said the last bit and now is not speaking to me at all. there are days when i just cannot do anything correct in her opinion and i will just have to fade that heat. trying to let a peer and friend know that their group was in danger of being taken off the meeting list, got a whole bunch of shit stirred upon between him and the member who is responsible for keeping that list up to date. my intent there was not to stir up the shit, but to get the information correct, so an addict seeking recovery, could find a meeting. after spilling my coffee this morning, i really needed to take a beat with all i try to do today and use it as a sign that i may need to think a bit more before responding.
moving into the here and now, i have stuff to do that i have been avoiding for the past few days, in a slight stew of self-pity and avoidance. well right here and right now, i can call myself on my bullshit and get working on my to-do list once again. it is a great day to walk in FAITH that the next door i may open, will be the one that leads to where i need to go.
today, i have already kicked a couple of beehives, trying to do the next correct thing. i pissed off my spouse when i said i wish she would not speak to me when my mouth was full of mouthwash. she cut me off before i said the last bit and now is not speaking to me at all. there are days when i just cannot do anything correct in her opinion and i will just have to fade that heat. trying to let a peer and friend know that their group was in danger of being taken off the meeting list, got a whole bunch of shit stirred upon between him and the member who is responsible for keeping that list up to date. my intent there was not to stir up the shit, but to get the information correct, so an addict seeking recovery, could find a meeting. after spilling my coffee this morning, i really needed to take a beat with all i try to do today and use it as a sign that i may need to think a bit more before responding.
moving into the here and now, i have stuff to do that i have been avoiding for the past few days, in a slight stew of self-pity and avoidance. well right here and right now, i can call myself on my bullshit and get working on my to-do list once again. it is a great day to walk in FAITH that the next door i may open, will be the one that leads to where i need to go.
∞ DT ∞