Some memes

gave me skills and knowledge that help me navigate the world outside of the fellowship that gave me this a new manner of living. i had a few social skills when i came to recovery, but for the most part, i was described quite accurately as someone who does not play well with others. when i got clean, i never thought i that would change, as i am a stubborn person and believed that nothing needed to be changed, the rest of the world would just have to accept me as i was. yes, that self-centered attitude was part of how i kept the rest of the world out of my bidness. it worked like a charm and as i stayed clean and started to have the desire to get what i saw my peers already had, i slowly realized that it was me that would need to change.
yes, this is way off the topic of my source material this morning which was about planning and guideline to protect the fellowship and those who choose to serve. what i got after i got over my bad self as a service junkie and the model of the recovering addict, was that perhaps, just maybe, i needed to be part of the planning, rather than “winging it,” based on my emotional reactions. as the notion of being a part of, took hold, i began to see that being what i was not, was not going to keep working for me. if i wanted some sort of future in the fellowship, where i could earn some respect, i was going to accept that i did not have all the answers.
as i fight AI this morning, trying to prevent changes i do not desire, i am almost ready to throw in the towel and use an image that is sort of perfect. when i get in this mode, i get frustrated and when i get frustrated, i make mistakes. my plan, therefore is to concentrate on getting this posted, do some job hunt stuff, look at my sad showing in fantasy football this week and then come back to my AI fun. life in my skin is better than just okay today and for that i am grateful, as it is a good day to be clean and practice a program of active recovery.

∞ DT ∞